The Education of 037

定焦

2010-04-11T22:29:00.005+08:00

“我不主張換鏡頭，而是要自己後退或前進來接近被攝體。攝影，要運用自己的身體來拍。” ------《荒木經惟的天才寫真術》

除了攝影，生命中的一切，也都可用身體來經驗。理想若距離遙遠，那就用行為靠近，而不是以空想調整焦距。沒辦法用一個框處理完的目標，那就必須取捨分張，畢竟好力道的相片應該專注呈現主題。而你也說的沒錯，想要更貼近精神分析，不一定就得抱著病症走去。

The Taste of Cloud Pie

2010-03-04T19:00:00.003+08:00

Made for lovers in Valentine

Stuffed with reminiscence

Cooked by the spell of coded words

With a touch of solicitude

Baked for one longest second

The aftertaste of amnesia

夜半驚魂

2010-01-27T01:13:00.003+08:00

昨晚，我半夜驚醒，因為耳邊突然聽到女人的慘叫聲，相當淒厲，回想起來那聲音應當是離死亡不遠。那女人像是直直對著我耳邊喊著，於是在巨大的聲響中醒來。那應該不會是夢境，因為沒有任何畫面，我就像是被喚醒。只是因為是慘叫聲，所以我也不是被喚醒，而是被嚇醒。

每個聽到我的夜半驚魂的反應都不大一樣，當然有人建議我去收驚而且還熱心地傳網頁告訴我哪家比較好，有人則是開始分享不久前遇到的靈異經驗，也有人問我“妳是左邊聽到？還是右邊聽到”然後便跟我要地址幫我淨化屋子。

我自己也有些推論，可能跟我延後了睡眠時間看完一本和「魔鬼代言人」同一體裁的驚悚小說有關，也可能是對於新的臥室方位有些疑慮，也有想過是不是真的阿飄叫我上廁所。一個人在外住了這麼長的時間，這樣的事也經歷過幾次。害怕也只有當下，最後還是睡眠重要，而且每次也是以“偶發事件”落幕。或許只是“經過”而已，我不是很放心上。真正困擾我的應該是睡到一半會醒這件事，發生次數不算頻繁但也不少。

不論是否為靈異事件，我好奇的是，為什麼是女人的慘叫？如果不是那女人，那我恐懼的是什麼？

如果說左邊代表這神性，那麼發出慘叫的會不會是自己？我想像著那些不好多慮胡思亂想的自己正離去，所以才會聽到慘叫。如果這叫聲是發自於內，那它是訴說些什麼？它導出什麼樣的深層恐懼？

我會好好問自己，在得到答案前，我要今晚先睡得香甜。

Peaceful New Year

2010-01-14T23:22:00.003+08:00

2010年之初，1月5日，一個恰當的時機，我對2個很重要的人說了一直哽在心裡的話。奇妙的是，揮之不去混雜著憤怒及哀傷的心情，獲得了釋放。那不再扭曲著我，解消了。這是2010給我的第一份禮物。

值星官開工囉~

值星官要帥帥地回來啦～

2009-12-10T23:50:00.002+08:00

值星官退伍啦！可是我還有一位阿兵哥要守著。想到又可以繼續看到值星官為我們提供迷人服務，我精神都來了！

When in Rome , DEAL as Romans DEAL

2009-11-26T22:06:00.003+08:00

9月初出差到雅加達時，正值穆斯林的齋戒月(Ramadan)。整整一個月，從凌晨4點一直到傍晚6點不能進食，水也不能喝。當然老弱幼小者可以不需要嚴格遵守。我們因為是外來客，倒是沒因此餓到想吃就吃，不過印尼主人都和我們約晚餐。齋戒月過後，便是大肆慶祝的節慶，有點像中國年。我們到的時間已接近第3週，商城因大家都返鄉準備慶祝關了許多店。

我們從很早就被教育要尊重不同文化，在羅馬就按著羅馬人規矩，在雅加達我體會到虔誠信仰是什麼。但是我和老闆此行目的不是去喝爪哇咖啡，所以在合作架構上無法入境隨俗，而對方的堅定信仰也展現在溝通時。於是文化差異此時一點都不美，卻成了我一連串痛苦但失敗的溝通。

(Late) Happy Birthday to 697

2009-08-10T23:16:00.003+08:00

給關心我的各位姐妹弟兄們，

謝謝你們這段時間的噓寒問暖，我跟697目前都很好。

昨天是陸畫家大壽，雖然無法聯繫上祝他聲快樂。

但我跟陸母兩人買了小蛋糕各自在家幫697遙慶祝壽。

不過正如壽星說的，部隊狀況再鳥，其碼不用再許一次同樣的願了！

颱風嚴重，但聽說新訓可以不用救災。

也聽697說部隊內不僅缺電缺水，還缺可寫真話的藍墨水。

我想那應該表示，我還行！還頂得住！

通了幾通電話後，軍中狀況問不出個所以然後，697終於吐出了這句話：

「等我(活著)回去時再講」

所以，想聽他好好講講的，8/14下午兩點後開始開放電話探視。

至於我呢？沒有哭、沒有鬧，只是我的手機要升級為商務機了，老闆幫我升的。

就這樣。

哭完之後，繼續往前走

2009-06-10T23:26:00.006+08:00

認識妳這幾年來，接過無數次啜泣的電話，都當是聽妳發洩已溢滿的情緒。

但是昨晚的那通電話，卻忍不住濕了眼眶。

想起了從這段時間，一個新生命使妳產生的變化。

我記得打電話恭喜妳時，我竟是那個比較雀躍的人，

當時妳只是無力地說"有那麼興奮嗎？"。

而現在，妳成為一個母親，有了一輩子的牽掛。

讓我激動的，不是當晚哽咽的訴說。

而是腦中浮現妳看著孩子的目光，令我感動也心疼。

做為一個母親，只能堅強。

現狀或許不如意，或許分離很煎熬。

但這不是永遠，是妳做為一個身兼數職的母親必須承擔的。

辛苦，但是對孩子的愛會讓妳勇敢堅定地渡過。

我們也都會支持著妳的。

妳不是一個人，要樂觀並且懷抱希望！

加厚家後

2009-05-23T17:15:00.003+08:00

我們的愛及情，就像黃小琥版的"家後"。

字裡行間的土味襯出深切，令人動容之處又因為突兀的bossa nova編排而滑稽。

這些年來的我們，似乎也是如此。

在我們稱彼此消低勾河東獅之前，我常常因為你掌握我的喜好而驚訝，

你總是回答"那不是默契，是用心！"。於是，漸漸地，我們也分不清是默契還是用心。

有人跟我說，人會因為對彼此瞭解越深，互動也會跟著越來越不經心。

而我也以為，情與愛這東西像藏在床底下的救急金，不會多也不會少。

但是你對我的付出，卻一點一滴地累積增長。

慢慢地我開始體會你的愛、和你的關懷。

只要跟你在一起，對於其他的不愉快及生活上的挫折也都可以勇敢面對。

那天雨後看到我一直在不遠處等著你時，你的一句

"我知道妳在等著我。謝謝你等我。謝謝你這些年來都等著我。"

讓我發現，我的愛，實在廉價，一句話就可以換取。

還不時地懷疑自己，是否也有以等量的愛與關懷給你。

當你堅定地說"以後你想要的，我都會盡力給你"時，

其實你早就開始這麼做了，你雖然量力但也盡力。

你希望能讓我快樂的心，我點滴心頭。

我們要邁入第九年了，就這一次我想坦白點或是肉麻些，

我想記錄下當下最真實的心情，不去管以後如何，雖然我是充滿信心。

謝謝你、還有我好愛你。

你是寵我，你或許還寵壞了我，但是我不介意。

人生中的第二個Browning

2009-04-24T01:09:00.008+08:00

今天背癢想伸手抓上一抓，發現反手根本舉不起來。

這才想起昨天發生的事。

昨天下午陪老闆去看他十多年沒見的王寶釧。前天就聽他興緻高昂地連繫前往探視的事宜。老闆前天用很man的方式透露著興奮跟我說："我有兩隻槍，都很漂亮！"。當下腦中馬上想起世界名曲："我有兩隻槍，長短不一樣。長的打共匪，短的打姑娘"。巨大的科科聲礙於老闆在面前，只能在腦內四處衝撞。

沒想到昨天竟會叫上我跟著一同去。

昨天便是去探視其中一把，白朗寧(Browning)散彈槍。在昨天之前，我只認識寫詩的白朗寧，不知道還有能裝子彈的白朗寧。聽說是世界名槍價格不斐。說了是王寶釧，槍跟女人一樣，久不照顧也會生鏽。但是跟旁邊全黑的自動式比起來，老王燙金的核桃木槍托、金屬上面的雕紋、以及皮製的槍盒，我這個外行人都看得出它的精緻。真正的美女老了、鏽了，仍會是美女。

再好玩的玩具也是要有玩伴，好在老闆叫我去不是要我扮火雞當活靶。於是我便有了個特別的體驗。初階打的是固定方向的飛靶，是比杯墊再大一點的陶餅，螢光橘很顯眼。不過由於我一直擔心會不會把拇指就留在現場，所以無法放輕鬆做到標準姿勢。再加上對我得一直靠在槍托上的臉來說，散彈槍的後座力有點大，我很擔心打完臉也瘀青了半張，但是不貼著就越會撞擊到臉。於是到後來我只感覺到臉一次一次地被後座力撞擊，根本管不著子彈飛到哪兒。誰都知道槍械的可怕，但是當真的感受人肉根本敵不過眼前這把細長的槍，那是很震撼的。如果有下次，我會先把耳塞準備好，然後把臉貼緊槍托。

在一個全男性的環境下，我清楚意識到了自己的差異。原來我也會是全場力氣最小的人，兩隻手握著槍還會抖。而且不到一打的子彈可以讓我第二天連抓個癢都無力...

Ghosty吉他刷得很The Strokes

董事長室內讀書會

2009-04-17T11:00:00.009+08:00

大部份的求職者都將具規模的大型企業當成自己幸福的依歸，我當然也是如此。

但是由於外在環境蕭條加上自己專業背景不夠強，大部份接到的面試多是來自小型公司。

整個求職過程最饒富興味的部份也是來自那幾間公司的面試。

小公司的好處是面試時多半能見到負責人，而這些決定公司樣貌的人們多半具有鮮明的個人色彩。

有將辦公室裡擺滿設計傢俱音響只僱女員工中午12點準時下班的奶油小生，

也有當著你面罵員工像罵小孩的美麗中年女老闆。

人生處處有驚喜，在商界的銅臭中也會聞到書香。

我第一間去面試的老闆，見到我第一個問題是："你覺得文學是什麼？"。

他花了一個多小時和我談文心雕龍及中國儒學，並且將他讀過的佳文背頌出來。

然後豪氣地提出很誘人的年薪邀請，希望我不要拒絕。

我想他不是找我去當國際業務，而是幫他將他的作品翻譯推廣到海外。

現在的老闆，也是一位很奇妙的人。

首先他願意用毫無經驗的我並且交付重責大任，讓我感到驚訝。

昨天下午的談話也讓我印象深刻。

老闆幾天前就曾告訴我他在大雷雨班機停飛時讀了本好書---"為愛朗讀"。

說那是本深具哲理的書，還看了電影。

昨天下午又談起，他跟我分享了他的心得比較電影與小說的差異。

我只能就電影的角度跟他討論。

我訝異大哥味十足的老闆會對這樣異色的作品產生共鳴，

同時還能在同一個平台上討論自己的觀察及感想。

談話過程相當愉快，愉快到我不由得自問這馬屁會不會拍太高了~

原來文藝並不只存在於所謂的文化產業，不是只有文藝青年才會看與實務無關作品。

科科

Come Dine with Me

2009-04-07T00:38:00.004+08:00

在打狗工作最難熬的時間不在辦公室，而是每晚踏出辦公室之時。過去好長一段時間，每天晚餐都是跟妹妹一同，有時聽她說學校的事，有時對她說自己憋了一天的話，有時我們會吃飯配日劇。對於單人晚餐，我已經無法習慣，尤其是週五的夜晚。住處沒有第四台，所以我開始晚餐配電腦裡的影集。原來松本清張加上米倉涼子真的很黑暗、Grissom那圓圓的肚子越看越迷人(我實在不怎麼欣賞邁阿密的老何老是三七步插腰耍帥)、六尺風雲裡的反骨二哥到了Dexter還是繼續與死亡為伍、本木雅宏洗屍體也能搞笑。這些劇集有一個共同點---屍體。開始每晚與屍體的晚餐後，也漸漸開始習慣了新型態的晚間時光。

Things are looking up!

2009-03-23T23:20:00.007+08:00

第三個禮拜了。我開始在打狗慢跑的日子。

想像自己在一條軌道上緩緩行進著，目前的我只往前行不管目的地為何。本以為會非常不適應因未知的現狀而軟弱，但我驚訝自己如此平靜。我對接下來人生的認知是，花大部份的時間好好活著，在感念身邊的一切之餘，好好學習自己所不知道的事，然後再想想未來。這幾年我學會的一件事是，要耐得住性子。因為想要得到的，沒有一件是一蹴可及。若是提早失去耐性，可能性也就跟著失去。幸運的是，我發現自己越來越能處理等待的情緒。

新的工作，很好。每天都必須學習、吸收、學習、吸收。

工作近三週，我做了以下這些事：花了5天將接手的電腦內的木馬除掉裝好掃毒軟體、3天把塞滿電腦桌面的檔案給移到我習慣的存放位置歸檔、2天熟讀老闆的名片夾內的大小人物、1天的時間只弄出一份表格、一個下午學用什麼挖砂和怎麼挖、15分鐘學泡茶、一個下午學用iphone (老闆新玩具)、6封自我介紹的信、2通自我介紹的越洋電話、每天必上google查老闆有興趣的投資項目每天也都不一樣、一個晚上摸同事底細、兩個晚上和同事搏感情。最後，一直到現在，對國際貿易仍瞎子摸象。不過以後誰要是招惹我，就不只是代訂pizza，而是等著到港口卸砂石！

謝謝你們的關心，我還活著，活得還不錯！

相見不如懷念

2009-02-23T22:30:00.003+08:00

每個人一生都會有幾個關卡、某些階段，這兩年不得不面對的就是年紀這課題。最近見得都是老朋友，發現談起上學的日子竟都是十幾年前的陳舊回憶，實在有種相見不如懷念的感觸，有種想老死不相往來的衝動。我們成了彼此清純過往的見證者，也同時成了提醒彼此歲月如梭的鏡子。跟朋友看起當時傳紙條的日期寫著82.**.**.，發現這橫在過去與現在的時間已能生成一位亭亭玉立少女時，我留下一滴蒼老的淚。然而淚雖流，但抹掉鼻涕老朋友還是要照見。早幾年的那些日子尚存在著重度自我認同危機，那時面對老友的心情不如現在自在暢快。要花多少的日子才能如此，對坐吃食憶著青春大笑，以開放的心分享著彼此的生活，同理彼此的人生但絕不論斷也不再背後批評。逝去的青春也因此而值得。

透光

2009-02-18T12:30:00.001+08:00

劉震雲小說寫得好，生活的苦與樂在紙上溜轉逗得人發笑。在《我叫劉躍進》裡，嚴格的出場在我看來場面很大，或許是因為自己和他有這麼點映照。裡頭形容嚴格有句話說得好：「人背運的時候，黑夜好像沒盡頭；待到運轉，發跡也就是轉眼間的事」。要能笑談當年摔個狗吃屎也要等時來運轉時，沒幾個人能活在當下笑著吃屎。今天就有那麼點黑裡透光的感覺。找工作的時日，發現隔一陣子就會出機會如雨後春筍冒出的時刻，那時人是既期待又怕受傷害，擔心做錯選擇又怕自己是不是眼高手低，在心裡繞東繞心就是不想再繞回那無盡的黑暗裡。人要懂得生活是個包著糖衣的口號，真正要你學得是如何渡過發跡前的生活不往死胡同裡去。我很慶幸自己還笑得挺開懷地。

Peace of Mind

2009-02-17T23:12:00.004+08:00

“We don’t wish for the easy stuff. We wish for big things. Things that are ambitious, out of reach.”

Grey’s Anatomy

慾望的本質就是如此吧。拉岡管desire叫the lack，講的是同一件事。我們總是期待些什麼，企盼的也總是我們所沒有的。如果這是生命的其中一項本質，我們也就不用因為要不到而太過痛苦，大家都不過是吃不到前頭蘿蔔的驢子，重要的是我們不斷前行。所以無欲跟無求其實是同一種狀態，一種安歇及踏實。王牌冤家是一部好片，裡面專演精神耗弱的(現在已瘦身成功)肥蘿絲講的一句話道出了許多心事的底蘊：I’m just a fucked-up girl looking for some peace of mind。只是這心靈平靜每人定義不同代價高低不等。

Smagus上帝的部落

2009-02-16T12:33:00.002+08:00

司馬庫斯為上帝的部落，要開好長一段山路才能到達。三生有幸司機是我好多年的朋友，不論是技術或是膽識都是一等一，所以我才能順著彎蜒的路欣賞美麗風景而不需緊抓安全帶。我則是做個盡職的隨車小姐，送上水果以及源源不絕的話語，在對方想掌我嘴前先閉嘴。整個山莊只有我們倆加上另外一對60有幾的姐妹及她們的導遊。本來因為預算想逞強住暗黑通舖的我們，在兩位阿姨的恐怖暗示左右夾攻下，忍著皮夾裡的痛換了套房和阿姨做鄰居，不過在新套房內也才真的鬆了一口氣。因為想到半夜要光著屁股在燈光微弱的戶外上廁所，兩臀頰已開始不住顫抖。第二天六點多起床，我已記不得上一次六點起床是什麼時候了！不過精神倒是很好，但是在走完來回五公里的路看大神木之後，我的腳開始想念平地的生活。入山真的是很性靈的活動，但是最後人都只能感受到肉體(的不支)。最後，我發現契合的玩伴會讓玩這件事更爽更愉快。兩個能溝通互相的人遠比兩個相像的人火花來的多上許多(好的火花)。

希望以後能有更多機會，大夥一起入山去~

注定失敗的小針美容

2009-02-15T20:33:00.006+08:00

西雙版那有最豐富物種的雨林，裡面住了有著和人類最相近面容的猴子---滇金絲猴。從看到它們的第一眼我就無法再將視線移開，我陷入那沒有眼白的深邃眼神。零下四十度的氣候仍是怡然自得，在枝幹間擺盪不知地球破了個洞美國有了個黑總統。它有著一股獨特的憂鬱氣息，不是小針美容失敗的那種，是惑於世間混亂卻乏於改變的那種。它的烈焰紅唇具體呈現一種黑色的幽默，告訴你活著就是一場鬧劇。

Life is a bitch. 重點是最後你有沒有辦法像上圖那隻仰天舒然的猴子，當人家生命中的bitch然後自己笑著下台一鞠躬。

當我們宅一起

2009-02-14T12:34:00.000+08:00

這是我收到的情人節禮物---一個500G的硬碟。我想我的騾子現在應該在流淚，因為它今後將必須更努力奔跑。經歷過複制及汰換舊硬碟、硬碟對拷、主機板排線電源線重置的過程後，我又遠離了公主一點，往獨立的阿宅又拉近了些。最糟的是，我竟然感到莫名的成就感。送了我八年情人節禮物，我家員外總是忠於自我持續每年展現他“創意的愛”。

也祝大家有情無情、有人沒人，都能天天開心。

Shockcow, you ROCKS!

2008-12-03T21:09:00.002+08:00

A Man with word is more than anything.

年關將至，大家都在比慘。聽說最糟的還沒到，人們沒把握但仍得繼續前進。

有句話說的好：茅坑佔久了就是你的！

這真言除了鼓勵人們不拉屎也要死守茅坑外，還有就是不能放棄。

今天是我一位很敬佩的友人大壽，我跟他也可以算得上是三等親。

他是個至情至性的性情中人，總是以最氣概的方式表現柔情溫暖。

這似乎是他們家男性特有的風情，讓人愛時還會想踹上一腳。

他還是個信守諾言說到做到的“層淑南輪”基本教義信徒，

從他腰間的那一輪輪就知道他有多虔誠。

希望他未來的一年能像他身上的mankini一樣，

又螢又勝利！

本圖經壽星至親手足潤飾

殘酷劇場之我的美麗與哀愁

2008-09-27T23:52:00.003+08:00

今日在書店看到《黑太陽》有了中譯本，這本曾朝夕相處讀到想將它撕毀吞進肚的書。我，因為論文而美麗，也因為畢業而哀愁。本來，我做的春秋大夢是背著巨額貸款到法國去吃軟軟臭臭的乳酪、把baguettes當肉吃，開始辛苦但是能相依偎的生活。我們會帶回許多共同的異國飲食經驗跟朋友分享。對食物我們常會持相反看法，這時一方或許會說：「當時我看你吃得挺高興的呀！」。然後36歲回來開始從小助理教授往上爬，和第一批學生建立革命感情，說不定還牽個鼻涕娃兒。那樣的生活應當會很忙碌疲憊，但我們不會花太多時間去抱怨，而會用更多的心力讓彼此靠近。當我和《黑色太陽》告別之際，沒想到黑色太陽進入了我的人生中。一枚不發光、不照射的太陽，但是仍每天升起的黑色太陽。

值星官說克莉斯蒂娃是位嚴謹卻又溫暖的鮮艷眼影愛好者。

殘酷劇場之我的志願---警察

2008-09-26T23:07:00.005+08:00

曾經，在風雨飄搖經濟拮据的颱風夜，我被偷了一袋剛從頂好買來渡過漫漫颱風夜的菜。我憤怒地報警，卻發現丟了的菜如同變了心的女友一去不復返，內心於是刮起強颱。警察看著泫然欲泣的我問了大致的金額，這時竟掏出兩張紅色紙鈔，它不是藍紫色、也不是紅褐色，是血紅地兩百元。警察大哥擔心這一袋菜是我唯一的食物，他沒有像殘酷人們認為當時的我光靠身上的脂肪過冬都沒問題更別提是小小的颱風夜。他還說，你可以用這錢跟你室友分擔一半的損失。我張著渾圓的感動之眼目送警察大哥離去。回到宿舍，我還是流下了淚：「警察大哥，那一大包菜是給我一個人吃的！沒有什麼室友跟我合炊！你真是太善良了，怎麼會小看我的食量」。

在這逐漸升溫的世界，人心開始嚴重失溫。為了成為對社會有貢獻的一份子把溫暖傳遞人間，所以我決定成為人民的保母。以豐富的教學及與幼稚任性人士互動的經驗，加上別人也常常說我先天合適哺育，我將會是位很好的保母。然而，聽說警察好像要遵守交通規則、為了體態威嚴無法每日進食油炸物、在路上被超車不爽也要有強大政治力後盾才能潑糞飆髒話，連最近想刺的青好像也得改成「反復、清明」。我或許還得再好好想想，想想我巷弄間的紅燈右轉、想想我無炸不歡的飲食、想想我口無遮攔的行車習慣。應該還有其他的職業能對社會有貢獻把溫暖傳遞人間。

值星官請大家聽一聽廖喵小姐最新星球主打歌，考量星際著作權法請自行連到這兒。

謝辭

2008-09-23T22:16:00.009+08:00

人要懂得接受他人的暗示，尤其當那根本就是明著來針對你時，必定要有所反應。

陸大畫家這些日子以來持續關懷本部落格的發展及進度，不做些回應實在是說不過去。坦白說，幾天前就在構思如何重新開張，越想就越寫不出來。人真的不能停下來，停滯是種帶有魔性的狀態，久了就通往地獄。尤其當階段性任務完成後，我竟得了失語症覺得已沒什麼好說了！而今日秋陽高照，焚風徐徐從窗外吹來。冒著熱氣的腦袋這下想說話了。我想，就從感恩開始吧！這一路走來，我有深切的感受。那就是，沒有任何成功能只歸咎於一人的。就將我的謝辭獻上，給那些愛我幫助過我的可人兒。由於我寫的題目冷硬、成品欠缺嚴謹、用的也是個不熟悉的第二語，所以我想大家會留念的應該也只有提及你們的謝辭部份。所以就擱在此，供諸君按圖索驥，喜歡的也可以複製回去列印劃線錶框。

謝辭是按照輩份出場的，所以我就省掉前頭大老部份直接切入屬於各位的主題。

提及中文名部份為考量以後本作大紅的微小可能，屆時必會影響當事人自由生活，所以只列貴性省略大名。

Acknowledgment

There are three moms to whom I would like to address my keen gratitude. 廖陳**女士 lent me her kind hand when I flustered. The warm greeting and encouragement I received from 余**女士 always cheered me up. I will never forget all the wise words 羅**女士 shared with me. She inspired me with her firm belief in goodness and patience. They are not my biological mothers but treat me like their own daughter.

Many thanks go to my friends who always stand by me and bring me tons of joy: my wonderful girlfriends, Liao Miao, Lily, Bong Bong, Shirley, Clare and Nydia; all the members in The Club, Gene, Josh, Da-phong, Ging-tang, and Shockcow; classmate from Soochow University, Oliver. Their unselfish support helped me to stand up to the obstacles on the road.

I want to dedicate my special thanks to my family. I could never make it without their constant love and understanding.

The last is for the best. The process of composing this Master’s thesis is as if passing a dark and frightening tunnel to self-discovery. Since writing is an undertaking requires solitude, I hence had to cross the tunnel and find the way out by myself. When I was down and weak, there was always a person with substantial supply of support and shelter. He had unfailing faith in me even when I lost mine. He made me believe all the good things in life. He is the torch of courage in my hand which carried me through the darkness of self-doubt and fear along the way. This last dedication is to the most precious companion, 697. I could never achieve anything without you.

This Master’s thesis has been in preparation for a period of time. During the time, I have come to realize that there is no achievement can be done by any single individual. The reason for my accomplishment is these people above. They are the sellotape of love sticking this thesis together.

今日在咖啡館狹路相逢一位酷似值星官的太陽眼鏡男，心凍結了一下。

想想該是讓他回來的時候了。

最後一夜

2008-09-02T01:29:00.004+08:00

昨晚，我為這份論文熬了最後一夜。

太陽緩緩從書桌前探出光，

我於是懷念起一路馱在肩上的種種。

跨過了，而疲憊也已生了根。

旅行的意義

2008-08-31T16:34:00.006+08:00

八月的最後一天，明天大家都要開學了。

過去這三個月，像是呼出一口憋了六年的氣。

面對流逝於身上忽快忽慢的時間，只能沉著應付。

從自己的體內出發，我看見內在風景。

一路走到了日光，眼袋因裝滿了怡人景致而微微下垂、暈黑。

這才發現，旅行中最奢侈的，不是金錢；

而是揮霍於行走、漫遊的時間。

不知何時手中才能再次握有如此大把的時間…

037外找

2008-08-10T23:02:00.002+08:00

自我放空去

沒事別找我

有事請mail

037

陸玖柒壽誕

2008-08-09T17:30:00.000+08:00

雖說在到達終點前的每一天都是苦日子

但是在今天這個特別的日子有我的相伴

能少點苦痛多點歡笑

祝老陸大德大年日麗中天

也希望過完今天之後，大畫家能快馬加鞭衝向終點

在這了不起的一天，就多放點陸畫家最愛的值星官為他慶祝

拜訪藝術之旅

2008-08-07T15:58:00.003+08:00

很高興能再下高雄會面心儀的嘔象

對方依然英俊挺拔才氣縱橫貫穿古今

家中也有熱情的長輩關心你未來的計劃

氣候宜人，適合待在屋內繼續上網。

值星官說好藝術讓人有好胃口

淡淡的…

2008-08-04T16:33:00.002+08:00

今日收到一封號碼不明的簡訊提醒我牛郎要~~上夜店~~會織女了：

淡淡的友情很真、淡淡的愛情很醇、淡淡的依戀很輕、
淡淡的孤獨很美、淡淡的思念很深、淡淡的祝福最真。

可是…淡淡是誰？

值星官說淡淡是個人才。

Good Brother Month

2008-08-02T22:31:00.000+08:00

好兄弟接下來要party一整個月，very nice。

但是內衣褲晚上不能曬外面，not so nice。

037 Still Twittering

2008-08-01T20:51:00.003+08:00

八月第一天由037自行發言。謝謝大家這一段時日來的愛護與支持。

多謝值星官及值日生在我水深火熱之時每日打氣補給。

要修改的地方還是有不少，但是精神好像還飄在某處渙散著。

似乎還彌留在29號跟大家見面的那晚，不太想離開…

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-31T18:11:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：多謝大家愛的加持，037終於取得逆轉勝。明年可以許新願望了!!!

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-29T14:00:00.000+08:00

值星官報告：今兒個是大日子，公休！

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-28T19:41:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：鳳凰乖，乖鳳凰，明天保祐037能逆轉勝！

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-27T18:51:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：037想跟大家分享今日最趣味。在郭董大喜之日張小燕的演說，其中最經典的一句:「我覺得郭董接自己的兒子跟孫子一起上學，這是一個人生難得的經驗」。這也只有地位如綜藝大姐大的人，說出來才叫詼諧。

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-26T20:02:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：颱風鳳凰將至，Pausch教授駕鶴西歸。
What makes one great is not how they die; it’s how they live.

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-25T22:56:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：037說The Dark Knight是部哀傷的電影，想要尋求視覺刺激的請先做好心理準備。

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-24T22:33:00.003+08:00

值星官報告：今日在陸畫家陪同下將口試稿親自交給老闆。兩個月沒見到陸畫家，037想賴皮綁架畫家回家。

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-24T03:17:00.003+08:00

值星官報告：水藍色的口試稿封面呼應了037心中的不真實感。

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-22T18:04:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：明天口試稿就要送印了，037只不住地顫抖…

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-21T18:27:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：沒剩幾天就要送印口試稿了，但是037電力燈號已從黃轉紅…

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-20T18:12:00.003+08:00

值星官報告：在037感嘆又無緣看今日的美國賽時，0爸吐出了古早時才會出現的歇後語：「怎麼啦！美國塞卡香嗎？」

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-19T19:05:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：037建議在面臨上級施壓無力應對時，可善用全能的goolge針對上級身家進行調查並演練殘酷想像，如此動作有助恢復疲勞舒緩焦慮。

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-18T18:45:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：恭賀陸畫家於今日獲得人生第一次的成名15分鐘，請再接再厲用藝術征服世界。

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-17T18:31:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：面對文本是段幽暗的路途，037要感謝兩位貴人一路上相伴對話，才不至於被恐懼擊潰。

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-16T19:40:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：TMD你祖母我就是要畢業，不過就是調章節擺積木罷了!

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-15T17:21:00.001+08:00

值星官報告：框架要大搬風，考驗著037整個章節的去留…

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-14T20:49:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：Anxiety Attack! Anxiety Attack!

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-13T18:12:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：貴人不用多，愛你的都是你的貴人就好。

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-12T23:59:00.001+08:00

值星官報告：論文讓037可以穿下小一號的褲子。

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-11T20:11:00.003+08:00

值星官報告：037說修訂自己的文章是個很奇特的經驗，所有的不耐無處發因為你很難堵爛自己。也難怪大部份的人都不喜歡修改自己。

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-10T19:01:00.003+08:00

值星官報告：要開始新的修改地獄了…

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-09T19:02:00.003+08:00

值星官報告：你祖母我037完成初稿了！雖然很粗！但是就是寫出來了！

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-08T19:30:00.003+08:00

值星官報告：你曾經是如此地憤怒如此地被誤解被攻擊，如果真有把刀可以將令你做噁的關係切斷你願意用生命來換，記得，別忘記。

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-07T17:17:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：037現在英語嚴重營養不良。

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-06T17:04:00.001+08:00

值星官報告：狂雨直下，老闆歸期是否會delay？！

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-05T17:00:00.000+08:00

馬念先，你不要以為換副眼鏡就可以給你祖母裝豬哥亮！

值星官報告：管他是爬是滾，037好歹又闖了一關，就差起個頭結個尾了~

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-04T16:51:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：If only 037 could reggae the thesis to the end.

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-03T19:05:00.003+08:00

值星官報告：老闆即將返抵國門，037快火燒屁股之際多謝救火隊相救。

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-02T17:34:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：再撐一下，就可以玩Nancy Drew過暑假了！

Twittering-037進度報告

2008-07-01T17:30:00.003+08:00

The shiver in Lauryn’s voice is the quiver of soul.

It just makes you wanna cry.

Lauryn's rap:

Yo, If they can stop this fruit
They would pop this route
Chop this fruit
Treat us like a prostitute
Knock this youth
See me in my cocky suit
God's recruit
From fallin even God's salute
Tribal truth
Ja people can't be mute
Share my youth to Babylon can't regroup
Sing, to Babylon can't regroup
Sing, to Babylon can't regroup

值星官報告：七月小綠綠放暑假，037快暑了~

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-30T18:25:00.003+08:00

值星官報告：037將Zion獻給重新插上管的癲牛先生。也希望自己能早點到達彼岸。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-29T17:38:00.001+08:00

Turn your lights down low

And-a pull your window curtain
Oh let Jah moon come shining in
Into our life again
Saying ooh, it's been a long, long time (Long, long time)
I kept this message for you, girl
But it seem I was never on time
still I wanna get through to you, girl?
On time, on time (Lauryn - What)
I want to give you some love
I want to give you some good, good loving (Mm, mm mm)
Oh I, oh I, oh I (Yeah)
I want to give you some good, good loving (Mm)

Turn your lights down low (Word, word word)
Never ever try to resist, oh no (No, no, no)
Oh let your love come shining in (No, no, no)
Into our lives again (No, no, no)
Saying: ooh, I love you (I love you, I love you)
And I want you to know right now (Know right now)
Ooh I love you (Uh uh, yeah, uh uh)
And I want you to know right now (Mm)
That I (No, no, no)
That I (No, no, no)
I wanna give you some love (Mm, uh, yeah, uh)
I wanna give you some good, good loving (Good, good)
Oh I, oh I, oh I (Mm, mm mm, mm)
I wanna give you some good, good loving

Yeah, uh uh
Loving you is a like a song I replay
Every three minutes and thirty seconds of every day
And every chorus was written for us to recite
Every beautiful melody of devotion every night
This potion might, this ocean might carry me
In a wave of emotion to ask you to marry me
And every word, every second, and every third
Expresses the happiness more clearly than ever heard
And when I play ‘em, every chord is a poem
Telling the Lord how grateful I am because I know him
The harmonies possess a sensation similar to your caress
If you asking then I'm telling you it's yes
Stand in love, take my hand and love Jah bless
Right, right

I want to give you some good, good loving
Turn your lights down low
And-a pull your window curtains
And let Jah love come tumbling in
Into our lives again

Sayin’
It’s been a long, long time
I got this message for you, boy
But it seems I was never on time
Still I wanna get through to you, boy
On time
On time
I want to give you some love
I want to give you some good, good loving
Oh I, oh I, oh I
I wanna give you some good, good loving

Good, some good, good, good, good, good, good

I want to give you some good, good loving

Good, good
Oh I, oh I (Uh, yeah yeah right, right now)
I wanna give you some good, good lovin’ (Yo yo, uh, right, right now)
I wanna, I wanna
I wanna (Oh), I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh (Uh, uh, yeah)
Yeah (Yeah, what, what)
(Feels so good to me) Please don’t forget passionate
Babies in the bassinet
You call, we be ready (Feels so good to me)
Ha ha, Ma steady
(Laugher)
Yeah, yes
Baby love

值星官報告：037說Lauryn Hill是黑的吉田美和。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-28T17:45:00.002+08:00

不需要宗教色彩，曲子因為Lauryn Hill而動人。

值星官報告：037論文現在倒著寫，寫到第二章了。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-27T16:30:00.000+08:00

值星官報告：037說恭喜何太太成功取得競爭“史上最惡婆婆”資格。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-26T17:45:00.000+08:00

值星官報告：037說來聽禽歌。這首歌告訴我們純愛不嫌老，也沒有不夠濃這回事(只有豆漿會變稀)。獻給明天就算我不愛你，但是依然厚臉皮愛著我的稀西C。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-25T21:13:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：收到了可重複使用的泡泡紙之後，037開始了“永恆是什麼”的哲學思考。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-24T23:16:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：又趕完一章的037：一點也不爽、很累、覺得東西很爛、自己臉皮很厚。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-23T19:44:00.003+08:00

值星官報告：再多個幾頁，就可以又多一章了！

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-22T16:10:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：037提供一個好消息請點這兒。從此千錯萬錯都不再是自己的錯，都是費洛蒙，恭喜大家。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-21T19:08:00.003+08:00

值星官報告：晚上家裡有客人要外出吃晚餐，是間位於“大英街”的韓式料理。037說好在台灣除了凱達格蘭外就沒有大道了，不然叫“大英道”能聽嗎？

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-20T18:52:00.002+08:00

值星官報告：今日跟大家分享037的關鍵字好了：憂鬱、書寫、弒母。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-19T17:50:00.000+08:00

'Prince of Parties'

I'm the pretty prince of parties
You're a tasty piece of pastry
You're so lighty flighty flakey
I go where the party takes me
I'm the funky monkey junky
You're a flunky bunky donkey
You're a picture of the devil's daughter
I'm a pitcher of holy water
Oh pretty prince of parties where's
the party now? - I don't know.
Oh pretty prince of parties where does
water go? - I let it flow.
Oh pretty prince of parties can I come
to your party? - No.
Oh pretty prince of parties where do
you get your clothes? - They're made
of snow. Pretty party clothes
crocheted of snow.
I'm the mickey Maori minstrel
You're the high priestess of tinsel
I'm the guru god of ganja
Ramashalanka lanka ravi shanka
la la la la la la la la la la la la

值星官報告：網路世界無奇不有，037想知道有沒有二手9成新的論文可以買。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-18T18:11:00.001+08:00

值星官報告：037說感謝大家的愛戴及鼓勵，努力明年一定不再許同一個願。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-17T19:46:00.003+08:00

‘I'm Not Crying’

So, you’re leaving, aren’t you?
I knew it when you said just then
when you told me you were leaving
That’s when I definitely knew
But if you’re trying to break my heart
Your plan is flawed from the start
You can’t break my heart, it’s liquid
It melted when I met you
And as you turn around to leave
Don’t’ turn back to me
Don’t turn around and see if I’m crying
I’m not crying

I’m not crying
It’s just been raining
on my face
And if you think you see some tear tracks down my cheeks
Please. Pleasee, don’t tell my mates
I’m not crying
No, I’m not crying
And if I am crying
It’s not because of you
It’s because I’m thinking about a friend of mine who you don’t know who is dying
That’s right, dying
These aren’t tears of sadness because you’re leaving me
I’ve just been cutting onions
I’m making a lasagna
For one
Oh, I’m not crying
No
There’s just a little bit of dust in my eye
That’s from the path that you made when you said your goodbye
I’m not weeping because you won’t be here to hold my hand
For your information there’s an inflammation in my tear gland
I’m not upset because you left me this way
My eyes are just a little sweaty today
They’ve been looking around
They’re like searching for you
They’ve been looking for you
Even though I told them not to
These aren’t tears of sadness
They’re tears of joy
I’m just laughing
Ha ha ha-ha ha
I'm sitting at this table called love
Staring down at the irony of life
How come we’ve reached this fork in the road
And yet it cuts like a knife?
I’m not crying
I’m not crying
I’m not cry-y-y-y-
-y-y-y-y-ing

值星官報告：037體重又創新低，看來要回到大一的全盛時期不遠了~

再加一句，037因為游壯壯的豪宅別野心靈頓時富有了起來，打起字也格外有勁了些。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-16T17:49:00.002+08:00

‘Dave (friend of Flight of the Conchords) explains how to flip a bird’

值星官報告：此段影片乃037當前心情最佳寫照，什麼是flip the bird請見此。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-15T19:37:00.004+08:00

‘Ladies of the World’

J: Ooohhh....ooooh....
I just wanna, I just wanna
B: Just wanna do something special for all the Ladies in the World
J: Oh yes (J)
B: Just wanna do somethin' special
J: Ah (J)
B: For all the Ladies in the world
J: Is that possible? (J)
B: And the gir-rls
Don't forget them girls
J: Caribbean B: (Ladies)
J: Parisian B: (Ladies)
J: Bolivian B: (Ladies)
J: Namibian B: (Ladies)
J: Eastern Indochinian B: (Ladies)
J: Republic of Dominican B: (Ladies)
J: Amphibian B: (Ladies)
J: Presbyterian B: (Ladies)
J: Outta sight
B: Amazin' ladies
J: Late night
B: Hard workin' ladies
J: Erudite
B: Brainy ladies
J: Hermaphrodite
B: Lady-man-ladies
J: Oh you sexy hermaphrodite lady-man-ladies
With your sexy lady bits
And your sexy man bits too
Even you must be in to you ooo ooo
B+J: All the ladies in the world
I wanna get next to you
Show you some gratitude
By makin' love to you it's the least we can do...
B+J: If every soldier in the wo-orld
Put down his weapon and picked up a woman
What a peaceful world this world would be-eee...
B+J: Redheads not warheads
Blondes not bombs
We're talkin' about brunettes not fighter jets
J: Oooh Oooh it's got to be Sweet 16's not M-16's
When will the governments realize it's got to be funky sexy ladies?
B: I have a vision and all I can see
Is all of you with 'a all of me
In a world of peace and harmony
Where every lady gets a little piece of Bret-y
J: I've been to Paris, Wellington and Amsterdam
And a wham-bam, Merci, Danke, thank 'a you ma'm
I don't care if you're ugly or you're skanky or you're small
I just wanna do a little something special for y'all...
B + J:All the ladies, in the world, you deserve it, Girrrrrrl...

值星官報告：037說感謝粒粒的神奇披風，希望能因此帶來源源不絕的書寫。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-14T18:49:00.003+08:00

‘Song for Sally’

Sally, I love you
Sally, I love you
Sally, I need you
Sally, I need you, too
I need to be with you
But I don't just love and need you
I love and need and want you, too
I don't just love and need you
I love and need and want you, too, too
Yeah, well I love and need and want you, too, too, too
That's too many- That's just ridiculous
Oh, you could be with me
Or you could be with me
If you wanted to be
If you wanted to be with me
Or me
The only thing stopping you from being with me
Is that you don't want to be with me
It's the same with me
Except with me
But if you did I'd hold you tight
Every single night
And we'd fall asleep together
And we'd wake up in the sunlight
Well, maybe I'm a dreamer
But maybe one day you'll see
That dreams are-
Yeah, yeah
She gets it
Stop cockblocking me
'Cause who knows what makes love stop or start
I can't help but think that now you're engaged we're drifting apart
And who am I to say that love will last?
It won't or it will
But maybe Mark will be involved in an accident
And you'll get a life insurance payment of half a mil
It's not about the money, but it could set us up financially
If you came back to me
Or me.
Sally, I wrote this song to tell you know much I love you
Quite a lot, actually
Even sometimes more than my current girlfriend
I love you so much
I love you, sometimes, even more than my current girlfriend
Sally, I co-wrote this song to tell you how much I love you
It's quite a lot, actually
Well, he's said basically just the same thing
I think he's been looking over at my bit of paper
Except with the girlfriend bit
Ooh, I love you
I love you you you you
Ooh, and I need you
I need you you you you you you you you
I need to be with you
Ditto that
'Cause you and me, we were meant to be
Bret's got a girlfriend
But Sally and me, we were meant to be
Bret, you've got a girlfriend
Yeah well, I'd break it off with her if I knew Sally wanted to be with me
Just so you know Sally, unlike Bret I'm available immediately
Sally, I love you

值星官報告：大雨將037靈感沖刷殆盡，涼爽氣溫使得鎮日瞌睡連連。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-13T19:12:00.005+08:00

‘Albie the Racist Dragon’

In the Marmalade forest (forest),
between the make believe trees,
in a cottage cheese cottage! Lives
Albie, (Albie,) Albie, (Albie,)
Albie the Racist Dragon - Part Six...

And so all of the villagers chased Albie the racist dragon,
into a very cold and very scary cave.
It was so dark and so scary there that Albie began to cry,
dragon tears, which as we all know turn into jellybeans!
Just then, he felt a tiny hand on his tail,
and he turned around and who should it be,
but the badly burned Albanian boy from the day before.
What are you doing? I thought I killed you!
Grumbled Albie, quite racistly...
No...no! Albie, you didn't kill me with your dragon flames.
I crawled to safety, but I was left very badly disfigured...
Laughed the boy.
Why are you crying, Albie?
Well, all the villagers chased me into this scary cave.
I think it's because I'm soooo racist...
get your hand off my tail. You'll make it dirty.
They didn't chase you here because of your racism.
They chased me here too when I became all disfigured like this.
They just don't like us because...
because we're different to them.

And at that Albie cried a single tear which turned into a jellybean
all the colors of the rainbow!
And suddenly...
Albie wasn't racist anymore!!!
So they sat in the cave (the cave), and ate bubblegum pie (yum) Albie the racist, (Albie the racist,)
Albie the racist (well, not anymore)
dragon.

值星官報告：感念於廖喵的真心手作，037將本日完成進度全數獻給Yoshiki來為他的健康集氣。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-12T18:12:00.002+08:00

'Mermaids'

B: Mermaid murmured into my ear
The answers to questions
I'm longing to hear.
B+J: Does it relax you
To hear the sound of the land?
Do you, a mermaid, have
Slightly webbed hands?
(AH AH AH)
B+J: Is it normal for a guy to wear
A scuba apparatus
When he makes love in the sea?
Make love to me.
Would it be weird for you
If I touched your fishy half?
It would for me.

B: Do you have mermaid parties beneath the sea?
J: Am I invited?
(AH...)
B: At these mermaid parties do you smoke seaweed?
B+J: If so, then how do you light it?
(OOO...)
B: Are you the answer to a drunken sailor's lonely wish?
B: Wish wish wish...
B: Or are you an optical illusion caused by a woman sitting on a rock
Holding half a fish?
J: Half a sexier fish...
B+J: (AH AH AH OH WA-EE-AH WA-EE-AH)
(AH AH AH OH WA-EE-AH WA-EE-AH)
(OOO-A-OOO-A-OOO-A-OOO-A-OOO)

值星官報告：廖喵的進貢讓037龍心大悅，今日打算衝它個五頁出來!

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-11T18:18:00.002+08:00

“Leggie Blonde”

Goodbye
Goodbye, leggy blonde
Every day I'd look across the office floor
There you were your hair down to your legs
And your legs down to the floor
Leggy blonde, goodbye
Goodbye
Now that you are gone I'll never see you here for tech repair
I wish you knew how much I loved your legs and your hair
Leggy blonde, goodbye
Goodbye
Leggy leggy leggy leggy
Leggy leggy leggy leggy
Leggy leggy leggy leggy
Leggy leggy leggy leggy
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie
Leggy blonde
Goodbye
Goodbye
I had a budgie but it died
(whoa)
I like pie
Leggy leggy leggy leggy
Leggy leggy leggy leggy
Leggy leggy leggy leggy
Leggy leggy leggy leggy
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie blondie blondie
Blondie blondie
Leggy blonde
I'll never get
I'll never get to be with ya
I'll never get to share another cup of tea with ya
I'll never get to let ya know how much I think of ya
I'll never get to tear your clothes off on the photocopier
He'll never get
He'll never get
He'll never get
He'll never get to say
Oooh leggy blonde you got it goin' on
Wanna see you wearin' that thong thong thong
See you getting' on to the break of dawn
(Mumbling) panties on
Goodbye
Goodbye, leggy blonde

值星官報告：037昨晚已完成大魔王關卡的佈局了。現在努力攻往下一個城池(章節)。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-10T20:47:00.003+08:00

If You're Into It

If you want me to, I can hang 'round with you
If I only knew, that's what you're into

You and him, him and you
If that's what you're into
Him hangin' round, around you
You hangin' round, yeah you're there too

And if you want me to, I will take off all my clothes for you
I'll take off all my clothes for you
If that's what you're into

How 'bout him in the nude?
If that's what you're into
In the nude in front of you
Is that what you'd wanna view?

If it's cool with you, I'll let you get naked too
It could be a dream come true, providing that's what you are into

Is that what you're into?
Him and you in the nude?
That's what he's prepared to do
Is that the kind of thing that you think you might be into?

And then maybe later we'll get hot by the refrigerator
In the kitchen next to the pantry
You think that might be what you fancy?

In the buff, bein' rude
Doin' stuff with the food
Gettin' nude with his food
We heard that's what you are into

Then on our next date
well you could bring your roommate
I don't know if Stu is keen to
But maybe we could double team you

How bout you and 2 dude
Him you and Stu in the nude
Bein lude with 2 dudes with food
Well thats if Stus into it to

All the things I do
The things I'd do for you
If I only knew, that's what you're into

值星官報告：萬丈高樓平地起，吃了慶生粽也該有點氣力了！

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-09T19:21:00.002+08:00

The Most Beautiful Girl (In The Room)

Looking at the room, I can tell that you.
Are the most beautiful girl in the...room.
(In the whole wide room).
And when you're on the street, depending on the street.
I bet you are definitely in the top three.
Good lookin' girls on the street.
(Depending on the streets).
And when I saw you at my mate's place.
I thought...what, is she, doing...at my mate's place.
How did he get a hottie like that to a party like this?
Good one, Dave.
(Ooh, you're a legend, Dave).

I asked Dave if he's going to move on you.
He's not sure.
I said "Dave, do you mind if I do?"
He says he doesn't mind.
But I can tell he kind of minds.
But I'm going to do it anyway.

I see you standing all alone by the stereo.
I dim the lights down to very low, here we go
You're so beautiful.
You could be a waitress.
You're so beautiful.
You could be a air hostess in the 60s.
You're so beautiful.
You could be a part-time model.
But then I seal the deal, I do my moves.
I do my dance moves.

Lets travel through, just me and you.
As other dudes around you on the dance floor.
I draw you near, lets get out of here.
Lets get in a cab. I'll buy you a kabob.
I can't believe. I'm sharing a kabob.
With the most beautiful girl I have ever seen with a kabob.
Oh, why don't we leave?
Lets go to my house.
We can feel each other up on the couch.
Oh no, I don't mind taking it slow.

Cause you're so beautiful...
Like a tree. Or a high class prostitute.
You're so beautiful.
You could be a part time model.
But you'd probably still have to keep your normal job.
A part time model.
Spend part of your time modeling.
And part of your time next to me.

My place is usually a bit tidier than this.

值星官報告：One enemy down. Three more to go. Go! Go! Go!

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-08T19:20:00.003+08:00

Bret, you got it going on.

Hey there Bret, I see you looking down.
Don't want to see my little buddy there with a frown.
Just because I get more women than you, well that's only because they don't know you like I do.
Sure, you're weedy and kind of shy.
But some girlie out there must be needy for a weedy, shy guy.
They want you as the needle when they're rolling in the hay.
Just hear me out when I say...

Bret, you got it going on.
The ladies will get to know your sexuality when they get to know your personality.
I said, Bret, you got it going on.
Not in a gay way, just in a "hey mate, I wanted to say that you're looking okay, mate."
Why can't a heterosexual guy,
Tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly.
Not all the time, obviously, just when he's got a problem with his self esteem.
Don't let anybody tell you you're not humpable.
Because you're bumpable.
Well, I hope this doesn't make you feel uncomfortable.
If I say you've got a boom ow-ow.
Come on Bret, help me out now.

Bret, you got it going on.
(You got it going on!)
That's the conclusion that I've come to.
But that doesn't mean that I want to bum you.
Bret, you got it going on.
(Got it going on...)
No doubt about it, we'd be gettin crazy.
If one of us was lucky enough to be born a lady.

If one of us was a lady, and I was your man, if I was your man.
Well, sometimes it gets lonely, and I need a woman.
And then I imagine you with some bosoms.
In fact, one time when we were touring and I was really lonely.
And we were sharing that twin room in the hotel.
I put a wig on you, when you were sleeping, I put a wig on you.
Oh, ohhh, oooooh, oh, and I just laid there and spooned you.

Bret, you got it going on.

Jemaine: So, hopefully that made you feel better...
Bret: Can I please have a look at the lyrics?

值星官說037現在每天靠著聽Flight of the Conchords來平衡跟時間賽跑的日子。

Twiitering-037進度報告

2008-06-07T19:30:00.003+08:00

Think about it. Think think about it.

Children on the streets using guns and knives
Taking drugs and each other’s lives
Killing each other using knives and forks
And calling each other names like dork

There’s people on the street getting diseases from monkeys
Yeah that’s what I said, their getting diseases from monkeys
Whys this happening, please, whose been touching these monkeys
Leave these poor sick monkeys alone
There sick, they’ve got problems enough as it is

A man is lying on the street, some punk has chopped off his head
And I’m the only one who stops to see if he’s dead, aaoohhh
Turns out he’s dead

That’s why I’m singing, Aaaaoooh what is wrong with the world today?
What’s wrong with the world today, *mumbles* never said nothings wrong with it
Uooo, what is wrong with the world today?
Think about it, think about it, think, think about it

Good cops get framed and put into a can
And all the money that we’re making is going to the maaan

What man, whose the man, when’s a man a man, why’s it so hard to be a man
Am I a man? Yes, technically, yes

Oohh, come on, sont zootka they’re turning kids into slaves
They’re turning kids into slaves just to make cheaper sneakers
But what’s the real cost, ‘cause the sneakers don’t seem that much cheaper
Why are we still paying so much for sneakers when you got little kid slaves making them
What are your overheads?

Well, at the end of your life, you are lucky if you die
Sometimes I wonder why I would even try
Why try
I saw a man lying on the street half dead
He had knives and forks sticking out of his leg
He said, Ahh ahh ahh ahhhhhhhhwww
Can somebody get the knife and fork out of my leg, please
Ooh, could somebody please remove these cutleries from my knees
Yeah yeeeahhh
This is where we break it down
This is where we break it down
We’ll break it down
What are they doing, their breaking it down
What do they do, and now their keeping it funky
Just having a funky jam and then we’re going to drop the beat
And then we’ll bring it back *wails* Up
Wah wah wah waaah!

*Both go to town with the wailing*

Then we’ll take it low
Fading out, fading out
We’re talking about the issues, but we’re keeping it funky
We’re fading out, were just fading out
Why they getting quiet, they’re just fading out
*monkey noises*
Stop touching that monkey

值星官說037正奮力產下一個章節，上背部呈現石化狀態。

Business Trip

2008-06-06T19:31:00.002+08:00

由於時間和體重一樣不斷地減少，所以必須採取非常措施。

我知道這樣會讓廣大的忠實讀者失望，但是我必須暫時出個差。

如果任務能夠完成，我就會笑著回來。

如果任務失敗，我還是會回來，但是會很難看。

這段時間還是會有好聽的音樂及賞心悅目的值星官不時報告我的近況給大家。

Mourning and Melancholia

2008-06-05T19:45:00.002+08:00

老闆說盡可能靠近要處理的文本及理論，沒有其他的方式。

我想也是。

好像除了正面迎擊，其他的選擇都是逃避。

而且怎麼逃都逃不開自己，因為症狀是存在於體內。

自我懷疑越滾越大，但是我不想成為壓倒自己的那根稻草。

Iron and Wine---Boy with a Coin

2008-06-04T17:35:00.000+08:00

因為弦在撩撥

所以可以永遠沉默

因為我終將會被

翻譯理解領會

一點也不輕鬆的人蔘

2008-06-03T17:43:00.004+08:00

看著鏡子中日益消瘦的形體，想起了許久前聽聞的一句俗諺：

胖子都比較樂天~

於是我開始煩惱，是否我將越來越陰鬱？還是我會成為一個樂天的瘦子？如果世上沒有兩全其美的事，沒辦法又瘦又樂天，那應該選擇脂肪還是fun？思及此，不得不感嘆起生活的困難，處處存在著困窘的決擇。

值星官說相信自己！

今日我最猛---Masturbathon

2008-06-02T18:00:00.005+08:00

很多時候，我們都希望能一舉兩得。就像在剩不到24小時的緊迫下，會希望能邊睡邊將章節內的20頁收尾完成。所以當“讀新聞學英文”遇上“自慰馬拉松”，可以邊掌握時事又接軌國際、自體愉悅同時做公益，這樣一“舉”數得的好康事，一定得跟大家分享。

值星官也很想幫忙，但是因不想出風頭只好作罷。

Tribute to Shockcow

2008-06-01T20:56:00.004+08:00

Flight of the Conchords is good.

福岡納尼亞

2008-05-31T16:44:00.003+08:00

記得小時後愛幻想愛作夢，認為衣櫥裡存在著一扇通往童話世界的門。然而這樣的純真卻預言了現實中的出乎意料。之後長大知道衣櫥只是擺衣物裝不下一個王國後，我還是習慣睡前檢查衣櫥的門是否有關好。其實現實生活中處處存在著童話，此段新聞提供現代都會男女一個更驅進理想的相處模式，新空間同居時代也即將到來。

值星官想知道有沒有可能衣櫃比房間大？

Panties for Peace

2008-05-30T19:22:00.005+08:00

從小爺奶就教育我們要克盡己職好好當地球的一份子，不要只當個台灣人，而要自許為宇宙人。當然爺奶也怕孩子太小一下子灌輸太宏大的志向會導致長大得大頭症，所以除了做宇宙人之外，爺奶也還不忘叮嚀多大的頭就戴多大的帽子要量力而為。爺奶的教導我一直都放心中，也期許自己當個有用的人。而要發揮用處就得先知道自己的位置在哪兒有哪些資源，要抗議爭取真理不是只有發動靜坐絕食或抵制，緬甸民主運動組織的舔弟弟(音譯)就為我們做了很好的示範。對於一個信仰高於一切的政府，人的命可能值不了多少錢所以打人肉牌是沒用的。這時我們就要跳脫框架發揮創意，一條女用內褲說不定抵一排靜坐的大學生。這將會是一項將人權運動往前推進的創舉。不過在此必須好心提醒舔小姐，要注意清點名目以防不肖商人從中牟利。

值星官呼籲大家內褲不要AB面穿。

酷斯拉，發射！

2008-05-29T18:15:00.000+08:00

新聞指出，台中已從好話都市晉升為活力之都。身為中部女子第一學府，長年受南北壓迫一直無法走出獨特色彩，不論是校服或素質都一直被擺在不公正的天枰上審視。在今天，困窘的時代將要結束了！不是只有熊中學生會在訓導主任桌上拉野屎，也不是只有北依女人才輩出！中部女子第一學府不是只會學人家校服死讀書，她們也是活潑有勁具青春破壞力。衝撞產生新思想，不滾不知身體好。這是活力的展現，哪像我們的嘴現在只吐苦水吐不出口水。不過在尋求自我歡愉應當謹記一點“肥水不漏外人田”，口水及飯菜應當留給自己的校友而不是浪費在無辜路人身上。

值星官說，小朋友要愛惜食物，能吃是福！

我們就這樣墮落了

2008-05-28T19:02:00.005+08:00

被喻為前小魔女分身在現在已成了尷尬的情調，因為魔力不再ESP而是RIP。小魔女那鼻炎一直都沒好的嗓音，我很喜歡。還曾認真考慮爵士女伶的可行性。可是東西會壞魔力會減弱，小魔女成了搖頭紋身的大魔女。我還是愛她，不管是福祿壽或是益兒善我都有掏腰包支持。但是…即使是真愛有時也經不起一再打擊，她的100%讓我不得不轉身離開留下我最誠摯的祝福。前幾天名為“我們就這樣長大了”的上海演唱會，小魔女帶著大家為~~她荒誕的過去~~四川不幸的人民默哀，讓大家知道人要好好做錢才能好好賺。很高興我的離開為她帶來上進的力量，聽說她突破心防唱了禁口多年的“健康歌”。只要換一種詮釋方法，健康歌也可以不再健康。看到我們的小魔女能用健康的態度面對過去，如此成熟的態度值得我們借鏡。

大家一直叫我唱“你的甜蜜”的時候，刺青還只出現在黑道身上。

值星官說現在還是很甜蜜。

請加油~

2008-05-27T22:56:00.004+08:00

因為聽說明天每公升起碼漲四塊。

大家快點加油！

恭喜值星官名列前三從軍典範

勿忘再舉

2008-05-26T23:28:00.003+08:00

有這麼一段驚悚的新聞，因為某現役軍人日前將部隊內同仁使用的性感香皂全數po在網路相簿上，此舉洩露軍事機密引起單位極大反應所以將立定條文，規定以後軍人不得架設所有私有部落格。因為有關軍中肥皂的使用量及樣式應當經由正式程序詳盡為納稅人報告，讓納稅人知道將士弟兄們是如何愛清潔愛同袍。

值星官慶幸好在有一群愛護他的好影迷為他準備紙肥皂省去撿肥皂的困擾。

露西鑽石

2008-05-25T23:52:00.003+08:00

今日本應台中歸位，因饑寒交迫於是耽擱了。

於是多了趟大遠百靜物寫真之旅。

感謝何媽媽讓我有段難忘的回憶。

再一次祝福她。

值星官獻上最有效的加持。

天賜良緣

2008-05-22T01:30:00.005+08:00

今日是個重要的日子，也是群龍聚首的原因。幫幫今日正式成為何太太了！

祝她白頭偕老、永浴愛河、百年好合、鳳凰齊飛。

值星官也想講些應景吉祥話，但是很可惜不能用早生貴子。

百日

2008-05-22T01:24:00.003+08:00

今日為值星官出席百日紀念日，同時也是會見久違老友之日。

希望本部落格業務能蒸蒸日上，還有好友們個個能可愛依舊。

值星官穿著正式傳統服飾以示場合特別。

The Education of 037

定焦

The Taste of Cloud Pie

夜半驚魂

Peaceful New Year

值星官要帥帥地回來啦～

When in Rome , DEAL as Romans DEAL

(Late) Happy Birthday to 697

哭完之後，繼續往前走

加厚 家後

人生中的第二個Browning

董事長室內讀書會

Come Dine with Me

Things are looking up!

相見不如懷念

透光

Peace of Mind

Smagus上帝的部落

注定失敗的小針美容

當我們宅一起

Shockcow, you ROCKS!

殘酷劇場之我的美麗與哀愁

殘酷劇場之我的志願---警察

謝辭

最後一夜

旅行的意義

037外找

陸玖柒壽誕

拜訪藝術之旅

淡淡的…

Good Brother Month

037 Still Twittering

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加厚家後